you were never really here.

Did you ever play football in the park with your friends as a kid; someone kicks the ball out of play, you stop for a breather and you suddenly realise you have no recollection of it ever getting dark? Where did the time go? Maybe after this thought you start to feel the cold too and you are definitely late for dinner. Almost as if your mind was trying to steal you away from a warmer reality you and you friends were living in. Strange. It only seemed like an hour, but we’ve been out here for almost five. I really miss those days.

Now you’re an adult and the reality is much more sinister, your mind has stolen your body. The truth is, by the time most people turn 30, the decisions you think you make in your life, are no longer governed by conscious choice or control. Let’s take something simple, something that is uncontrovertibly debilitating towards a health style such as smoking. I used to smoke, through university it got pretty bad actually. I’ve never needed something to get to sleep before, but I cannot deny that the feeling wasn’t want – it was most certainly need. Sometimes I thought to myself, who was really smoking who. Burning off a little piece of my flesh every time I went for my routinely dose. I still did it anyway, I knew the ramifications better than anyone, but my body didn’t.

That’s just it you see, routine, habits, patterns of thinking that manifest itself so deeply into our psychology that they become unconscious in nature. Do you ever catch yourself doing something in a day to day basis and think to yourself – what am I doing? Maybe, how did I get in this current situation? Perhaps you’re even asking yourself why you are reading this right now. If you ever have had this thought, even just for a moment – you experienced waking up. Just briefly, then you’ll fall back into that deep sleep, that unconscious, you’ll turn on the TV, open a new YouTube tab or pick up your phone, endlessly scrolling for something you do not know where to find.

That’s not true! it’s the new clothes I want and the car I’ll be able to buy in the future, I’m just planning for my holiday because then I’ll be happy you see! People will respect me more and envy my lifestyle, because those people are always happy right? I mean they always look happy and fulfilled.

The real gruesome truth about these common ideologies, is that your state of mind is still governed by the same dogma of habit. Sooner or later the projection of your future happiness will become unconscious, and all the world’s earthly possessions will not be enough to make you realise you are chasing the horizon. You will never, ever get there and that is because you are here.

There’s nothing wrong with having plans about the future, having thoughts about what you want to buy and where you want to go. Don’t confuse pleasure by projecting happiness with it, that’s a different reality altogether. You see, I believe true happiness is a state of presence – not a state of mind.

I’m here to remind you that there’s always a choice you see. You can either choose to be here and accept the reality of the present, or you can choose to be somewhere else.

Remember, the moment here & now is all you will ever have.

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Clinical Exercise Scientist

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